Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Enough rope....

They have a saying that you should give a person enough rope to hang themselves... yeah. When I first realized that my life as I knew it was over, I had several friends jump in and offer to try to get my old job back, or get a job at their work. But I respectfully declined. I didn't want to be rescued-as if I was some poor pitiful person in need of being taken care of-you know, I got myself into the six foot deep shit hole, I wanted to pull myself out-thank you very much. I don't need your pity or your open hand...

So, my gracious friends backed off...to the point where they don't even notice me in my stupid, self imposed shit hole any more. And now, now I've learned.

After 8 months I learned that shit sucks-literally. Like quicksand, it sucks you back into the middle of the pit. Struggling against the tide. Pride got me here. Well, pride and stupidity. So, I don't blame my friends-they have their lives. They did their part in offering.

They are hiring in my old position-but I wouldn't be in charge any more and the pay sucks and the job is boring. (I only stayed so long before because it was part time-easy in and out and I could care for my kids.) Who knew there would be a huge economic downturn? Who knew that gas would soar? That every job that truly fit my qualifications would have some reason not to hire me. Who knew that I'd be here nine months later wondering if it would have been better to be at a miserable, low paying pity job?

Who knew pride could get you into this much trouble... Friday, I'm off to apply for seasonal retail work. Hopefully, someone will give me a break at $8 an hour. Looks like the only way out of the shit is on my knees asking the age old question, "Do you want fries with that?"

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