Thursday, January 22, 2009

An American Idiot

So- the job at my old home town has been filled...which I knew the day the guy e-mailed me and asked me to lunch, but which well meaning friends tried to turn into a request for a second interview.

I am looking through job boards- feeling like an idiot. I put my whole life into creating a family-even though I know kids leave- I fearlessly thought what I built with my husband would last-I stupidly did not pursue a Master's degree-thinking that if I worked hard enough at writing fiction and getting published I could make a career of that... idiot...

Kind of like watching the kids on American Idol who can't carry a tune in a bucket pouring their whole lives into a dream. Where was Simon Cowl (SIC?) when I started writing? Someone, anyone to smack me up side the head and tell me to go get an MBA...

Only, like those kids don't listen to Simon, I doubt I would have either- I mean, I didn't listen to the naysayers... I simple knew that if only I tried a little the kids who burst out into a second song to prove that they can in fact sing, but only show how far they have to go...I would make it. We are all American Idiots.

As for me- am currently mailing off yet another book proposal-while debating if I can even get into Grad school-if so, where- and at what cost...then wondering if anyone would hire a woman approaching 50 straight out of grad school...odds are better that I'll hit the Best Seller lists.

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