Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Ventured out to the mall yesterday in a fit of cabin fever. Just browsing through the stores when this friendly sales woman came up and asked me if I had heard of their new product-"Smiley"- complete with white and yellow packaging.

"It's great!' She gushed. "Can I spray some on you?"
"No, thanks I'm already wearing perfume."
"Oh, it's okay it works with your perfume and changes it slightly." Smile. "It's what they call a psycho-perfume. It has pheromones that make you happy and those around you happy." She gushed on about how it calms her boyfriend and how he loves it and makes him want to sit near her-she leans into me to demonstrate all aglow. "It will calm your coworkers and make everyone around you happy."
"I'll try it," my daughter pipes up. She gets a squirt.
"Lovely, isn't it?" Sales woman holds out her arm to me. I sniff. It's okay...kind of lemony. "It smells different on everyone. what you smell on me is not what it will smell like on you or her." Points to daughter.
Curious I give in. "Okay, spray my wrist." Sales woman happy to oblige squirts. I blink.
"All this and it's only $42."
At which point I smile back. "Sounds like a lot of happiness for a little dough. We'll think about it." I grab my daughter and steer her out of store.

Two stores beyond and my daughter is pouting and grumpy.
"What is it?"
"This perfume is making me crazy and grumpy!" she declares.
I note that it does seem to be getting stronger with each passing moment. "We'll go wash it off."
Arrive in restroom to discover "Smiley" has turned my wrist black...as if I've brushed up against a giant ink well. Yikes! (Seems I am allergic to happiness.)

I scrub with soap and water-the black comes off but the scent lingers. I sigh. "I can still smell it."
My daughter sniffs her arm and makes a face. "Oh, me, too!"
"Wow, she did say it doesn't go away like other perfumes. Guess we have to tough it out." we both have grumpy faces.

The scent is gone now, thank God. So much for mall therapy. You know- it might make some people happy but it appears I'm not the "smiley" kind.

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