Help, I've become trapped in a badly written sitcom

okay- seriously...

Was woken up at 3 a.m. by a phone call-from Arizona. I don't know anyone from Arizona. So I let it go to voice mail where any idiot will see from the answer machine that they got the wrong number. Nope. Two minutes later the phone rings again. I answer it- "Hello?" A pause then a man asks, "Is this xxx-xxx-xxxx?"
"Yes."
Another pause as if he can't understand that I'm not who he thought. So, I say, "It's 3 a.m. here."
"Oh, sorry, I have the wrong number." He hangs up.

Whatever- I go back to bed- then the phone rings again at 4:30 a.m. - this time- "Hello?" No answer. "Hello?" No answer. "Hello!" Hang up.

By this time the entire household is up for the morning. Grumpy. Let dogs out. Make coffee.

I finally give in to take a nap at 1 p.m. when the damn phone rings- again with Arizona. I let it go to message.

They call back twice at 5 p.m. This time they leave a message.

It seems that a world wide entertainment company- as in adult escort service - was erroneously assigned my phone number for their company. Last night's calls were their beta tests before they go live. My number has been published in 7,000 publications world wide. They warn I may be getting as many at 3,000 to 5,000 calls a day. What do they want? They want me to change my number so they don't have to lose the hundred thousand or so they spent on publications-and so that I don't get "unsavory" calls the rest of my life. In exchange they'll pay my phone bill for six months- whatever. My soon-to-be-ex-husband found it quite funny.

But here's the deal I have over 800 resumes out over the last year with my phone number in big letters across the top. Let's say they like my qualifications and give me a call...who are they going to get? World wide adult escort service...

I could not possibly make this up.

I will have to send out notices of change of phone number to over 800 companies with the hopes that they get filed along with my resume. My publisher will have to be notified. My banks. My freelance work. My writing associations.

And still- we all know that someone, somewhere is going to try to call me and get...yeah.

Somebody said something about Mercury in retrograde until Feb. 4th. Will be interesting to see what happens next.